the distracted brain

ADD or  ADHD. When I was a child, in school, I was on the quick and smart side. Teachers often had me help or would give me extra things to do. I was not a behavior problem other than talking too much and occasionally getting up and walking around the room. But I was redirectable. I did not want to cause trouble or call attention to myself. I would have studied but my brain did not know how. Words danced all over the page. Same with piano. The notes danced in front of me. My mother took care of the house and did not expect me to clean or have chores, so there was nothing difficult there. When I got to college, not being able to study was a problem. When I eventually became a nurse, it was a great fit for me. I had to be able to handle anything that popped up at anytime. I thrived on distraction. Now that I am old and living alone, I have identified other things in my life/mind/brain that are different. I have never been able to follow directions for anything. I realize that's why my dance instructor when I was five told my mother I couldn't dance. Because I couldn't follow the steps! Same with group dancing of the past 30 years. Also about my brain or hormones or whatever causes it - I am still, and always have been, a slug in the morning. Daddy called me a loggerhead. I cant think right or move well. Post noon, I start to improve, and by nighttime I am perky and energetic. Then when I finally turn off the lights and its dark, and I'm in bed, my creative juices are flowing. When I wake up in the middle of the night, more great thoughts! 

Thanks to social media platforms, I have learned there are other people like me, with the same traits. It's comforting. I always felt a little out of sync with other people, i.e. those who rise early and are asleep by ten. Whose homes are neat. Who don't have a lot of hobbies or interests and can follow a recipe, but I wasn't too bothered by it. I challenged myself to be as "normal" as possible.  Sadly this gift of a brain is now diagnosable as a disorder and profitable to the medical community. Everyone is different.