Days are long, but life is short.

There were many things I experienced when my husband died, but one that keeps sticking out in my mind is how quickly life passes. It seemed that the thirty-six years of being with him had vanished faster than a breath. Happy times, difficult times, and all the times between evaporated like a little poof into the air. Bible words like "the twinkling of an eye," "one will be taken," "absent in the body and present with the Lord," "like a mist that vanishes," have a richer meaning. And it makes me wonder how God evaluates us and how He uses us after our bodies die. A significant death opens the door to a lot of philosophical and theological thinking. 

photographs

About twenty years ago, I realized that I could take pictures of things besides my family when, miraculously one evening close to dark, I snapped an awesome picture of a yellow lily in my yard. It was gorgeous! Then I discovered the birds and the bees, the sun and the moon, light, dark, and shadows.  Then I traveled! The possibilities were endless. I saw photo ops everywhere. Now I have taken so may pictures, and even though I have deleted most, I still have some that are pretty darned good. I am thinking of to getting some printed and perhaps show them off in my gallery. I have determined a theme them, People in Public Places, all in black and white. 

It has been a long time since I could take a roll of film to Eckerd's and get it developed. It has been not as long, but still too long, when I could get digital prints of any size made at Sam's or Costco. Life is so complicated now. There is no-one to speak to if we have a problem with some service, and there is no-one to speak to about printing pictures. I am on the hunt. Here is an example of one I want printed. 

Alpha parenting

People young and old are treated for anxiety, fear, and depression. These are not new problems, but it seems that more people are plagued with these issues now than in previous generations. After studying humans of all ages, abilities, and living situations, I have concluded that the most important thing in raising a person to become mentally healthy is to be an alpha parent. Parents have been in the world much longer than their children and have learned a few things. They are responsible for the bringing up of these babies who they have created. Whether a child has only one parent or two, or if there is involved extended family, children should be brought up knowing they are not in charge, but they will be when they become adults. During that time, they will be developing a sense of self. Children grow up feeling more secure when they have parents who guide, set limits, and teach. If they don't have this, they flounder, and the pattern starts. Parents need to make decisions for them. Little by little as a child grows, they can make decisions, but it should not start too early. They first need to learn that mother and dad are in charge, and their word stands. But what if...? But shouldn't...? Let the child first feel secure, protected, and cared for, Allow them to grow not just in size but also emotionally.  For starters, feeding children is the parent's job. Teach them to eat what makes them grow strong and healthy.  They shouldn't choose what or how much their little tastes dictate. I have observed that these kids who have depression have had parents who don't function as parents. They let their kids start making decisions for themselves when they are little and are  mentally incapable of doing so. They need a parent who says no, who teaches why something is not right and why they won't allow it.  How to be a good parent? Don't be afraid of your child. Set limits. Say no and deal with their childish emotional response maturely. Let them learn that in life we don't always get yes. Protect them from themselves. Turn off the media. Have positive conversations. Don't allow fear to get a foothold in their lives. Be the alpha parent.

From General Patton

This is from today's Mike Huckabee's newsletter.

"Urge all of your men to pray, not alone in church, but everywhere. Pray when driving. Pray when fighting. Pray alone. Pray with others. Pray by night and pray by day. Pray for the cessation of immoderate rains, for good weather for Battle. Pray for the defeat of our wicked enemy whose banner is injustice and whose good is oppression. Pray for victory. Pray for our Army, and Pray for Peace. We must march together, all out for God." 

General George Patton

Remembering April 25

Today is the birthday of Connie, my friend from childhood on. It is a dear date to me, and one I celebrated with her for more than sixty years. It is usually a beautiful day, when spring has fully emerged from the gray of winter. When it is neither too hot nor cold, neither too dark nor light. When the skies are blue and a soft breeze blows. The movie Miss Congeniality validated my love of the day when a character in a beauty contest described it as a "perfect date," adding "all you need is a light jacket." Way back when, I wanted it to be my wedding day, but the best I could do was the 25th of the coldest, darkest month. And she, somehow, tied the knot on a 23rd, my birthday number. Four months older than me, when she turned her new age, I automatically considered myself that age, too. Always. Three months after her 2020 birthday, she died. The scourge of our generation, smoking, was no doubt the biggest reason. Then my hubby died just twelve weeks ago! When I realized that the two people I talked to every day, and who probably knew me the best, and to whom I could say anything and they would understand, were forever gone, I felt alone. 

I am successfully moving into the future as I should, but today is a reminder of the importance of relationships, old friends, love, the breaths of life, sticking together, and making our days count. Because they matter to someone.  

Benedictions

A benediction is a blessing spoken by the leader to end a Christian gathering, like a pastor closing a church service. There are many recorded in the Bible from Genesis on that we may be familiar with. For example: "The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord lift his countenance upon you and give you peace," from Numbers. And from Paul in the New Testament, "The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all."

I have been trying to remember the one that the pastor in the church I grew up in used, and I think it finally came to me. 

It goes something like this: Now go in peace and in the fellowship of God's love, remembering that it was in the love of God you were born, it is in the goodness of God you were redeemed, and it is in the providence of God that you have been kept all the days long. 

A benediction is warm and fitting way to conclude a gathering. 

April 22, 2021

Blogging has changed since I started with it back in the old days. My profile says 2003. It was probably before facebook and various subsequent social media platforms - ways of expressing oneself to the unknown rest of the world through the mysteries of technology. During those years, blogging helped structure my time. It felt like a responsibility, a daily duty. 

Now I wonder, do people still use blogger? Many well-intended writers/philosophers/life explorers have hopped on and off the blogger train. I did that at first, but when I took the trip to the Philippines, I wanted friends and family to participate in my adventure. All I had to do was leave a web address behind, and I wouldn't have to start from scratch telling about it when I got home. It got the ball rolling, and pretty soon I was hooked. I did other writing at home, deeper stuff, but for the fairly superficial, I blogged. My career gave me some good material, and when I wasn't exhausted from working, I enjoyed typing a few, hopefully meaningful, words about it. My family additions, i.e. grandchildren, holidays, my yard, my plans were fair game, too. And of course pictures! How I love to find something interesting to photograph. 

Now that I am well into my seventies, there is little angst to suffer through. Any situation anyone else has been in, I have probably experienced in some way too, and I survived. Expressions now reflect a later station in life. Serenity is a gift that has come with time and trusting God. 

But I occasionally miss the call of blogging. And with the loss of my husband, my long time mate, that has put me in the position of living alone, I can and should return to it. So here goes. My first post in this chapter of my life.

I like this picture I just took